Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice.
Say “okay, you’re gay” to anything someone says.
As peole talk, smell their shoulders. When in a conversation, look out the window,
then say “Wait, start over. I wasn’t paying attention.”
Say to people, “Did you wear deodorant today?” Place your shoes on the table.
When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right.
Throw stones at people walking past your house Pretend you have gone comopletely deaf
Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny
joke. Walk into people’s houses, go straight to
the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food.
Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it.
Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away.
Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you’re staring at them. Then,
slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head,
then run away. Repeat. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare
at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you’re doing.
Reply, “I’ve been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You’re weird!” Leave the
restaurant. Call the operator. When asked, “Can I help
you?” reply, “No thanks, just browsing.” Push a raisin into someone’s cream-filled
donut. Throw newspapers back at paperboys.
Tell people their fly is down when they’re wearing sweat pants.