‘Succession’ Star Brian Cox Pitches Cookie Monster on Sweet Deal


(upbeat pop music) – Dum dee dum. Dum dee dum dum. Dum de dum dum. Dum de dum dum dum. Hi, sorry me late. Cookie business never sleeps. – You’re the one I’m
having the meeting with? You’re the head of Big Cookie? – Yeah, me Big Cookie CEO. Cookie Eating Officer. In fact, me just got back from big fancy people conference in the woods. Me wore puffy success vest and baked cookies with Keebler Elves. They still owe me oatmeal raisin recipe. – I knew I should’ve had one
of my sons take this meeting. – Speaking of cookies, you going to eat those? – No. – Yum yum yum yum. – No, no, no, business first! Cookies later. – Right, of course. Me need to control meself. First lesson in Big Cookie:
you no can eat profits. Me learned that lesson in the ’80s. Cookie market crash
really hurt me portfolio. – Yes, that’s what I
want to talk to you about. The coming together of our companies. Strategic relationship. – Yes! Like a cookie sandwich come together! Mm num, num, num, num, num. (Cookie Monster smacks) Num, num–
– As you may know, the current news business is crumbling. – Yes. Like delicious cookie. Num. Num, num. Ah, ah. Ah. Ah. – Hey! You can’t eat the cookies! We aren’t done yet. Business takes time. I’m sure the Big Cookie
business wasn’t baked in a day. – No, of course not. It bake in 12 to 15 minutes! Hm! Num, num. Ah! – Okay, let me take you through
our proposal presentation. – Yes, good idea! Presentation distract me
from eating business cookies. – Now this pie chart shows
our expenses across divisions. (Cookie Monster moans)
– Delicious pie chart! Mm! Ah, ah, Cookie Monster! Control youself! You professional Business Monster! You helped Bill Gates get into chips. Mm, chocolate chippies. Mm. – In this Venn diagram, you can see the cross-company initiatives we share. – A cookie Venn diagram! Ah, ah! No, Cookie Monster! Control self! Focus on presentation. – And this bar graph shows our year over year sustainability. Over the next 25 slides,
I will now show you our five-year merger plan. – 25 slides?! – Uh huh. – Okay, me control meself long enough! You got deal, buy, sell, Big Cookie yours. Me no care! Cookies! Ah, ah, num, num, oh, ah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Oh, whoa, ah, mm! (Cookie Monster groans, eats cookies)
(upbeat pop music) (Cookie Monster sighs) (upbeat pop music) – And that’s how me do— I do business.

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7 thoughts on “‘Succession’ Star Brian Cox Pitches Cookie Monster on Sweet Deal

  1. "Written" is a strong word, considering this is obviously sourced word-for-word from Fortune 500 shareholder meetings.

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