“Ode to Failure” Opera Bit at Crunchies


(piano fanfare) – When we look back at
2016 we’ll surely find so much failure; so much that I’m tired. Apple took all of our ports away. Now somehow we all have more wires, but that’s just the
start of the very worst. I’ll hit Samsung next verse. Gopro Karma, the drone that
flew only to be recalled and 360 cameras that nobody wants. Not to mention, chatbots
that nobody wants. And there’s still more: Theranos lied right through its
teeth, but that’s okay. Let’s give them a movie. The Note 7 made the no-fly list, but I prefer that to a
Trumped-up news feed. When you move fast and break
things, it can’t go well save for Yahoo which will still sell. We agree then that nobody
wants to see a repeat of 2016. Like Facebook’s chatbots, don’t be another thing that nobody wants. (audience applauds)

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