my wife left me. (“How success destroyed us”)


hey tech wait here and welcome back to another episode now I have a bit of funny news to share with you guys it’s not that funny actually my wife left me now I know that some of you guys may be surprised that I have a wife or head and I have a kid as well a three-year-old child he’s great I love that guy but one day she just took all of her stuff packed all her bags took my kid and just left went back to Japan now I don’t want to get too much into the details because I think that this would be disrespectful for her and it’s just way too much information right like it’s just random personal small detailed information that doesn’t really help anybody but first of all I do want to say that the biggest victim in all of this is my son and you know I strongly believe that children should be growing up with two parents so it is just an absolute shame that this had to happen and you know we did have some issues I did not expect it would get this bad to this point I had always envisioned that I would be living many many years to the end of my life with this person and my son and that it would just be a great family but there were differences in culture in value and where people wanted to be her family was mostly over in Japan I tried my absolute hardest to get this to work and I loved both of those people to the very end until they just decided to leave without really talking about it anymore and broke off communications so and the whole story is super complex and I might get into it over time but in this episode I specifically wanted to focus on the money portion of this and sometimes I talk about personal finance but yeah you can see that this whole apartment is empty it has been empty for a while now let’s talk about how money affects a relationship because I feel that success played a big role in the destruction of our relationship and it did this in the ways that I did not expect okay so first the money acts as an escape hatch anytime you have the smallest look at this agreement or argument you can just press this button and you’ll be given but loads of money and you’ll be on your way you can get that and you can go travel or do whatever you want you can decide to become a single parent which is normally very difficult but it’s actually quite easy if you have sufficient funds such that you don’t even need to work you just stay home and watch the kid and you know like for example my parents they came into the u.s. they were broke and that struggle became a bond for them and there was no quick easy escape hatch for either of them they just had to learn to cooperate and work together and that strengthened their relationship but not so much if you have some level of success and I feel like I have been climbing Mount Everest and halfway up with my partner she decides to bail on me and normally there’s no way to bail on the mountain like that you have to get to the top or keep struggling to go up but when you have funds you could just call in a helicopter and say you want out and that helicopter would just take you out and you don’t have to do that struggle you don’t have to mess around there and then that leaves me stranded there like I don’t know if I’ll be able to get to the top anymore now the second point here is that money makes small acts of kindness trivial garbage like when I know I’ve messed up I will try to apologize by taking my wife to a seafood restaurant getting her to her favorite bakery getting her some chocolates buying her a diamond Tiffany necklace but she did not appreciate any of this stuff because when you have like tons of money all of that just pales in comparison it just doesn’t really matter anymore on her birthdays I would get her like a $30.00 item or something and then she would say I did not get her anything for her birthday like I just forgot it it was like well no I spent very hard to coming up with this item but essentially what happens is that when I mess up it’s just very difficult for me to apologize right through small acts of kindness and needs to be to the level on the scale of success that I’ve reached like if Bill Gates were to buy you a $20.00 dinner you would think he doesn’t mean it does that mean anything to him well it depends right like for me my personal value of money has not grown in proportion to the success that I may have reached such that you know $30.00 still feels like a lot to me but for other people who maybe come in and they just take a look at the wider picture they think that’s nothing that’s nothing to this guy he doesn’t he doesn’t care about that he doesn’t care about me it essentially makes apologies extremely difficult if not impossible to do because small acts of kindness words just carry no weight at that point you know the other thing is that it made the best thing about me the defining factor about me my financial success right it’s very difficult to ignore it’s the biggest elephant in the room and you know I don’t consider my wife to be a gold digger by any means I wouldn’t have married her otherwise but there would just be moments where it would seem like well my funny personality my charm it just carries no weight next to the biggest the best thing about me which is that I’m successful and I’m sure many other couples were experienced this especially after an argument they may say well why are they together and then they may think back to the good times good old memories and then they’ll remember yeah that’s why they love this person but when there’s something so big like an elephant in the room which is the financial success of this person then you just immediately think to that it’s like oh yeah right this person is successful they’re providing my livelihood when it’s better if you didn’t have that and then you force people to think a little bit more and think about why the relationship may be valuable now the third point I have for you here is that money just makes it extremely easy to solve problems it becomes the way that people start solving problems right like like it’s just so easy to say hey we’re going to give this another chance but you gotta you gotta buy me a new car or like hey you have to take me to a fancy restaurant and it just became a way to solve problems and then people start comparing themselves and getting frustrated when they see well how come everybody else is going to this hundred dollar restaurant and we’re not going there are we valuing each other do we still love each other if we’re not taking each other out to the biggest best experiences that people our level of success are attaining and then people just start feeling like maybe they’re not being loved because there’s just so much more that we can afford and yet we’re not spending that to the maximum amount whereas in reality in my mind there’s just I mean I think there’s so many things that may prevent people from spending right it could simply be that product it’s just not that good sometimes money is not the solution to your problems right sometimes there’s just other things that you cannot buy and that’s why you can’t go to a nice restaurant right maybe you’re just limited on time maybe the kid can’t go now my fourth tip here is that success generally goes hand-in-hand with good intergenerational relationships so this is a kind of tricky one but so let’s put it this way my wife and my parents did not have the best relationships but I knew that any wealth from my parents would flow to me and then it would flow into my wife and my kid I may die earlier right so it became kind of a concern if my wife and my parents did not get along then it will not sound fair if the money would somehow flow into her at the end right if they’re treating each other poorly so I would always say like we got that at least treat each other well and it kind of became a requirement for me and I started to thinking well how can I set up a proper financial instrument like some sort of living trust in which I can ensure that my parents could pass down their wealth to me and yet it will not flow to my wife because they do not have a great relationship so it’s funny right like I think that when you get to a level of success and you really want the money to flow to the right people such that all of the hard work that you’ve earned over the years in your life goes to people that you love and who love you back that level of wealth requires good relationships among family and if you just decide you know what don’t like certain family members are going to cut certain people off of your family you know you’re just not really interested in developing good connections with people that that presents actually a barrier to the flow of money across generations as people build up wealth and so if you have no wealth you have no money then you know you can just cut your parents off and it’s okay go off and be your own person and that works out okay but it just doesn’t quite work if there’s actually some sort of money that ends up flowing from your parents to you and then you’re going to feel kind of bad actually probably guilty if you’re getting money from people that you have been mistreating the whole time and maybe you know they probably wouldn’t have wanted you to have that and then the fifth and final point here is that to understand that money financial success does not bring you happiness if you take a look at us we had it all we had a life we had money health time energy everything and yet it was like all we had to do was enjoy it just enjoy the life go on some fun family vacations use the money to love each other and be loved and I don’t want to make it sound like I’m the good guy here because this is only just one side of the story right and frankly I don’t think it does anyone any good to start trying to judge other people to say whether they’re good or bad and that’s not what this video is about so there you have it and as for me I think I’ll be okay I know I was really depressed and bummed out over the past few months but I mostly recovered by now and I’m starting to move on with my life I think that you know the saddest thing is actually about my son my child and I just really wanted to be there for him he’s only three and like we had so many plans like we wanted another kid I wanted him to have a brother or sister to grow up with I wanted him to have a great happy healthy family [Music] and there seems to just be no strong reason in my mind why we couldn’t get this done like I just wish we could have got that done for him I just think it’s a shame that things had to turn out this way because we had everything nothing for me and I will see you next time [Music]

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100 thoughts on “my wife left me. (“How success destroyed us”)

  1. more than often the wife cannot tolerate her in law's and this is a major upcoming future red flag that men should be aware of.

  2. honestly i am sorry this happened to you I do apologize I see the sadness in your voice may you continue to build success even after you lost your job may both of those losses bring new opportunities for you. NEW SUBSCRIBER ACQUIRED!

  3. I am really sorry for how things turned out for you. You deserved better. Sadly, as you said, you can be a hard working dude, with a kind, gentle heart and a great personality, and you can have all the money in the world and still end up miserable. Thanks, Feminism. Fuck you.

  4. Don't give up. Money was not the filter through which you should be evaluating your relationship (or yourself). Though it is a nice, concrete and quantitative variable…it is not the one that will allow you to feel why she left. Start practicing building your empathic skillset. Eventually with enough practice one day you may be able to actually feel what your wife was feeling as to why she arrived at that decision. That is where you will be able to come together and rebuild. Keep practicing. (Also read up on love languages, because it seems like you and your ex had different ways to express and receive love.)

  5. awww.. that sucks … sorry to hear… I guess everyone have sad stories in their life. I also think I have everything but life sucks for me…

  6. You made such a great point. In this world, people always equate financial wealth with happiness. But that is simply not true. I hope you will recover soon.

  7. Japanese woman, sad they way they are. My wife took my 3 children to korea 9 years ago for a 2 weeks trip and never came back. It is so difficult. Deep sadness. Now now i work, i have my business and what. What is the purpose of working so hard.

  8. I’m wealthy & my partner is wealthy. We both came from poor immigrant background. In my opinion it’s not the money it’s the person themselves it’s their mentality that causes these problem! That’s just my opinion I’m truly sorry that this has happened to you. I wish you the best & hope everything works out for you.

  9. Keep your SANITY, MONEY AND FREEDOM NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER get MARRIED

  10. Bro never care about women or chase them, they are cruel and selfish. it happened to me 9 years ago. She was very selfish and took my two kids. Now after 8 years my ex wife is living with diabetes and poor situations. Kids love to live with me and they don’t want see their mother. Don’t worry large majority of women are selfish and self centred creatures. Enjoy MGTOWS life and progress in life but never bother about women they are number #1 replace able item nowadays. It’s better to get rid of toxic people in your life

  11. Always remember “Time, money and women are most disloyal things in this world, if you use, consume or spend them wisely they will stay with you.” 😜 I am saying this after life long experiences

  12. why should "value, respect, fame, and dignity be limited to how much you spend, and how many things you have"?
    materialism is a disease it's not something to be proud about!

  13. Techlead you are smart and entrepreneurial. If you focus your mind and energy I know you can make an absolute fortune in short period of time. Keep on keeping on man, we are all cheering for you!!

  14. I have to admit this grace and poise you drop the red pills with is rather impressive. Sorry you had to learn awalt

  15. Women will bleed you . And I had my daughter taken out of The country by my ex before too. So stay strong 💪🏽 Brother!

  16. Marriage is really complicated. And it’s a philosophy you would never figure it out until you aged or mature enough to accept all the imperfections of life, marriage, career development as well as the ties and connections among them.

  17. Anyone else watching this unsure if their loved one is wanting to walk out?..

    Okay I’ll just go cry in the corner by myself..

  18. Hey buddy. You have to read the book The Rational Male. There is a series of books in the series but read the first one. You are totally lost about female nature and what happened to you. Rollo Tomassi is the author of these books. There is audiobooks, ebooks and the books are in print. Trust me. it will change your life.

  19. It's a mindset thing surely. For me small acts of kindness mean the world to me, even though my husband makes good money…I never wanted a husband who worried about impressing me with expensive stuff. Stuff is meaningless. I suspect there were other issues she struggled with and didn't know how / or couldn't be bothered to address. I'm sorry this happened and hope you can resume contact with your son in later life.

  20. Marrying a Japanese woman comes with some special risks. If you arent Japanese, then you likely were unaware of these. To start with (1) once she takes the child to Japan, you lose all rights to that child. So if its her wish, you'll never see that kid again. Even though Japan has signed the Hague convention on child abduction, it is effectively ignored if the man is not Japanese. (2) Even if you are a resident in Japan, you'll still have no rights to that child post divorce. There is no legal concept of shared custody post divorce in Japan. The child's registration gets moved to the family register of the woman post divorce in 99% of the cases. if you are not Japanese, make that 99.9%. Even if you don't divorce, she just has to say something bad about you and you'll lose all rights. (2) Most Japanese women feel that child rearing is the domain of the woman only. So involvement in the child's life can be challenging. (3) first 6 months is the most extreme period, where some women who live close to their mothers like to go into isolation with their mother and just focus on the child. less nowadays but you'll still see it. So there is a possibility you'll be totally shut out of the kids life for the first 6 months. I've seen many cases over a 30 year period here where Japanese women made the man feel like he was a living god. This was before the kid was born. But after the kid is born, the relationship radically changes, by an order of magnitude more in a relationship with a Japanese woman than a non-Japanese.. The woman might start looking at you as a wallet to support her rearing of the child only and would rather you wouldnt disturb her. I've seen many guys in this country go down hard – lost access to their kids, had to pay bribes to see their kid(s) and eventually lost the right anyway, kids got brainwashed by the mom to think their dad is evil…. the list goes on… the saddest thing is even when you warn them upfront, the standard reaction is "you dont understand… Junko (or Akemi or whatever) is different"… So TechLead-san, I feel for you bro. Hope you dont hold this against Japan or the Japanese people as well. Japan is a great place and the Japanese are the nicest. But there are risks… and most men I know got burned bad. Also another warning if you are a foreign man married to a Japanese woman outside of Japan…. I've seen many women experience the 'return to mothership' mentality after a number of years- so you think your life is comfortable in (fill in the blank)… but in reality, she gets that 4 year itch, and the next thing you know, she is telling you its time to go back to Japan. I saw it happen many times. Be careful out there.

  21. Damn i feel you. Its not easy as it by the books. You have a past and a story with that person you loved and married at. Most important are the children, the person who you love can go away or just leave. But childern should always have a place in your heart and never feel like they arent loved anymore. Its again tough because sometimes they understand it when they are already old. Keep up and never give up! In the end if we like it or not, we are alone!

  22. Marriage is business. Get marry with a lease on the table. Every 3 to 5 years you have a meeting and see where you stand. If there is no more then you walk away.

  23. My friend got dumped with 2 kids under 7. He is a mess trying to raise those kids. She felt in love with a commando in the army where she also work. Yeah the army is full of cheaters

  24. open a bank account for your parents in switzerland. the bank are obligated to say shit about who the accounts belong to. and tell the bank, you will be the owner of the bank account after the death of your parents. hope they live long

  25. The uncomfortable truth is… most women (not all) become bored once married. You're no longer a challenge or mystery to them and you become very predictable in their eyes. Before marriage a woman will be more agreeable and will give you her best. After marriage she will become complacent, point out your flaws, nag you to death, and become unappreciative of all the things you provide to the family. I feel your pain brother. I have experienced this a few times already. It also explains why women initiate over 70% of divorces in America.

  26. I'm really sorry to hear that hopefully you'll get your son back.As long as you're alive you can fix it I know that can sound hopeless but stay strong and hopefully it'll come around from you.

  27. Sorry to hear this happened to you. Search for a channel called "Sarah Speaks" here on YT. She'll explained what happened to you.

  28. I am sorry for this harsh change in your life. You had indicated that your success influenced your wife to leave. It is too bad that you and your wife were not climbing the mountains together. Your parents had that commonality as you said, a unit of combined engagement – in their case a common struggle to survive. Having moved from her home and family so far away has its own set of typical challenges. Seeking that happy balance in all things considered with a partner/lover is a delicate dance indeed.

  29. brother !! so much reality in what you said. I wish you good luck. Sometimes a pause is all that you need to ask a question "what's really important in life". It can change everything that you do, question is, "when you ask that question for yourself".

  30. He seems disingenuine. Idk what it is about him.

    Doesn't really make sense. He would have to fuck up pretty big time for any sane person to give up such a life of luxury not only for themself, but also their kid.

  31. Don't waste your feelings on someone that doesn't love you. Do better next time. Guess she didnt love you to begin with.

  32. I'm now close to… what you are going through. Deep research and studies on the subject of "why it's so difficult". Now, I begun to understand the lines in females lyrics of the songs they sing. Its like another language. Far away from my understanding… and yet only few months ago. It's too late to make some changes and fix some decisions, but as long as we made this first step too our enlightenment. We will be fine!

  33. You were married to a materialistic, entitled person. You dodged a bullet. There are good women out there. Keep your head up! Some tech girl will fall for you after watching your videos.

  34. I'm getting alarm bells when you talk about your relationship. You seem more connected to your financial success than to the relationship.

  35. You've married a typical Tokyo Gold Digger !! It was good that she left you, however taking your son without a notice.. THATS WRONG!!!

  36. Men are taught to be successful but aren't taught that women can't be trusted. Woman have a biological need to bare a child from 21-35. She doesn't really care about you once she has that baby, she wants your seed. Men research online about red pill, blue pill. Most men don't learn how women manipulate men. We aren't taught this in school.

  37. You don't have to apologise for making this video. You're human. you're honest with yourself and that's important for moving forward and correcting your mistakes.

  38. I love when you said your personal value of money hasn't caught up with your success. It just helps me understand someone a bit better…

  39. Remember to vote democrats in 2020. Once they pass universal healthcare, free college, and free housing your wife won’t ever leave you again!!!!

  40. Iam sorry maybe adopt a kid and rais them yourself. Better yer get siblings. Start over. This way your not alone when your old. + you have the means to do it.

  41. https://youtu.be/oz9IQfjgiRI

    Hey man, Rollo Tomassi did a breakdown of this video. I suggest you watch it ASAP if you haven't already. It's going to give you a lot of valuable insight into why things happened the way they did. All the best brother

  42. This is my opinion of course. Step one: Any painful or seemingly negative experiences are part of what brings us our dreams. Most people do not know how good their life can be. I was married twice actually and I, of course, like anyone else, want the perfect relationship to be the first one. As a society we are not there yet. We all will get there. Step two: To realize that all people are connected to one progressive movement towards love. The more we focus on it, the luckier we become and the wider our opportunities. Experience taught me that. I am poor by most standards in the USA but I am also happier than ever because I just give the little I have to what I deeply feel are worthy causes and it just has opened so many doors in my life. So many people are suffering this minute because they are born in the wrong country or family and that is not their fault. When all humanity, and that of course starts with one, realizes that by improving the comfort and happiness of everyone starting with those that suffer most, all people will naturally work as one organism. That is how every system in the universe around us works; things live for the purpose of unity with the next highest cause and thus are benefitted in every way that all member beings can share. None go without. 3) Now is just the time that this world will learn this. Many people are having success nowadays doing things that benefit everyone. This is very different and only started in the last 60 years or so. All the corporations before that were and still are trying desperately to rape the world and are losing thank God ! I know you have gone through the experiences you have and painful as they were, not to hurt you, but to help and even save many others. Here is someone that is so very outspoken about the crime rampant on Wall Street for example (linked at the end of the comment) Regarding your family, you will soon have the family you dream of. So why and how did it not occur before ? That is a very long story but the bottom line is that the purpose of life is joy and to share love in a family. Above all (even though it is the bottom line) that is the only lasting true direction of everything that happens. If it hurts someone, that means it is the dying throws of the old world that you are shaking off of you and you will soon be free of because you know better now than to pursue something going the other direction. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfwJ06hc0_8 Now you will just feel if it is good or not and stay away from the nots. Find a charity you really believe in and give it your every hope and effort. That is the fastest way I can think of on my own anyway. Everything I feel and the luck I have today I owe to that happening to me. Again, thank you for sharing. You are one super amazing and honest man ! Oh and your son… you will be very close when that time comes. For now there are billions of children that would love all your hope and inspirations to share with as of course few have it now. I just hope and pray for your future to turn out like mine has and I believe it will be better than that.

  43. Please check out coach Greg Adams channel he will provide elaborate details about women on why they behave the way they do and the marriage system is a scam.

  44. Same thing happened to me. Multimillionaire, no debts, son not even 1yr old and my ex wife to kill the marriage just like that. I spend years trying to understand why but it doesn’t matter anymore.

  45. You NEVER learned about the "red pill" or MGTOW. If you refuse to learn, you'll repeat the same mistakes over and over, to your demise!

  46. If you were neither success nor wealthy when your wife decided to married you, the success (you mentioned so many time in this video) may not what she want or care about.

  47. Hang in there buddy….when there are no problems in life…. Some people create problems, just to have that element of drama in life.

  48. Her government mandated entitlements and access to your assets and future income were already vested. Sounds like you just got punked by gynocracy – also referred to as divorce raped. I can relate. I've been there done that – been paying for last decade and had most of my access to children stripped.

  49. TechLead you need to check out Rollo Tomassi, he did a 2hr break down of you, explaining how we(guys) have same problems you do.
    He had helped millions of guys and even save some from committing suicide.
    We’re all with you buddy, It’s time for you to Unplug from The Matrix 💊.

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