McDonald’s AARP Initiative, Bumble Safety Feature & Tech-Savvy Chimp | The Daily Show


The American economy is booming. In fact, unemployment is so low that companies are having
trouble finding employees. Which is why McDonald’s
is looking anywhere it can. McDonald’s wants workers to spend some
of their golden years at the Golden Arches. The fast-food giant
partnering with AARP in an effort to hire
older employees for everything from morning
shifts to management roles. McDonald’s hopes to fill
250,000 jobs nationwide by this summer. Oh, man, this is cool. Yeah. Partnering up with the AARP to
find jobs for senior citizens, especially because
for so many people, McDonald’s was their first job
when they were teenagers. Yeah. Now it’ll be
their last job, too. It’s nice. The circle of life. Hakuna matata. Although, wouldn’t it be funny if you go back to the McDonald’s
you first started working at and your old manager’s there
like, “Well, well, well. “Look who’s back. Where have you been
the last 50 years?” “Actually, I was a doctor.” “Well, now you’re back
on the fryer!” (laughter) Also, also, I think this idea
is gonna be bad for our health, because old people love
feeding you. Yeah. You’re gonna try
and order a number seven, and Grandma at the register
will be like, “That’s all? “No, no, have a McFlurry. “You also need extra fries.
You’re a growing boy. “I put some apple pies
in a Tupperware for you. Take them. Take them.” And, uh, you know
what the biggest thing is that I worry about? Is that McDonald’s says
it’s reaching out to the AARP because they need workers. But how do we know? Yeah. What if one day
there’s a news report like, “Old people are disappearing,
but the McRib is back.” (laughter) All right, let’s move on
to some technology news. These days it seems like
every tech story is bad. Facebook is giving out
our secrets. Screen Time is hurting our kids. Our Roombas
are seducing our cats. -(laughter) -But at least…
at least there’s one dating app that’s trying
to do something good. NEWSWOMAN:
The dating app Bumble is launching
a private detector feature that can automatically detect
crude images and warn you. The feature is part
of a safety initiative expected to launch in June. Bumble already has
measures in place to protect users by blurring
all images by default, but recipients have to hold
down the photo to view it. Yeah. Let that sink in, people. Bumble has had
to write a program -to censor dick pics.
-(laughter) Because men
will not stop sending them. I honestly feel bad for women,
I really do. No, because especially…
because, like, Bumble was supposed to be
the safe dating app, right? ‘Cause on Tinder,
you get a match, and then guys would be like,
“Dick pic!” Right? But then on Bumble,
women make the first moves, so it’s, like, match,
and then it’s like, “Hello, John.
Nice to meet you.” -And John’s like, “Dick pic!”
-(laughter) Like, just wait, just wait. Let them ask for the dick. And as offensive
as sending a dick pic is, I feel really bad
for the guys whose dick pics make it through the filter. (laughter) Yeah, that’s a really bad way to find out
you’ve got a weird dick. When the filter’s like,
“Oh, oh, damn, I… “oh, I thought that was a…
a thumb. Oh, my… “Yo, that… yo, you need
to get that checked out, man. Oh, I’m sorry.” And finally, in the world
of Instagram. Chimpanzees. They’re one of the humans’
closest relatives, right? And today we found out
that they’re even closer to the humans than we thought. People are going bananas
over this incredible video of a chimpanzee who’s managed
to work out how to use… an iPhone. The academic ape is seen
scrolling through videos and photos on the smartphone
after mastering the ability to swipe through
different images. Are you shitting me? (laughter) There’s a chimpanzee
who knows how to use Instagram? And people are saying
that this video shows how smart chimps are. I actually think
it’s the opposite. It proves that Instagram appeals to the chimp part
inside human brains. Yeah. Because
I don’t know about you, but Instagram
makes me real dumb. I’m having complicated
discussions during the day, just like, “Yeah, you know,
you look at the economy, “and you look
at what’s happening in Congress, “and then you get on Instagram,
and you’re like… (imitating monkey chattering) (applause, cheering) Also… also… wouldn’t it…
wouldn’t it be cool to get followed by a chimp
on Instagram? -(laughter) -That would be
so cool if that happened. If you got a, like, you just saw
that you’re being followed by a chimp, and you send
a message like, “Oh, wow, Coco! Thanks for following me!” And Coco would reply:
“Dick pic!”

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100 thoughts on “McDonald’s AARP Initiative, Bumble Safety Feature & Tech-Savvy Chimp | The Daily Show

  1. This is a weird comparison but that chimp will be us if we ever found out higher intelligent beings exist and our species are inferior

  2. Me: I'd like a cheeseburger please.

    Old McDonalds worker: WHAT?

    Me: I SAID I WANT A CHEESEBURGER!

    Old McDonalds: oh ok

    Me: receives regular hamburger

  3. Astonishing that Trump lowers unemployment and leftists still try to spin it like a bad thing😂😂 this is why you guys lose all the swing votes

  4. Your researchers don't even know how tinder works and the audience still laughs like a bunch of NPCs when he is wrong

  5. An iPhone so easy even a monkey can use it😆😅😂 yeah I don't think apple is going to be using that in their next ad 🤔

  6. Omg..this is how it begins..Planet of the Apes was not a fictional movie but fortelling the future🤤😵😰☠

  7. Hey how stupid do all of you feel that there's no Trump / Russia Collusion?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

  8. Senior citizens can't live off Social Security. That's why McDonalds is reaching out to AARP. #NotSoGiggleGiggleGiggle

  9. I just realized I've never seen a black person acting like a chimp on purpose. It was always white people I've seen doing this mocking blacks. It feels weird.

  10. When i come back i want absolute control of my tech company… central command. IM SO MAD I CAN'T STAND IT. Maybe send me an emergency air ticket.

  11. can someone with a penis break down for me why guys send those, unsolicited? When has it ever worked out for anyone?

  12. I don't know how anyone, especially the elderly and disabled, do a fast food job. I tried two times with massive failures, and also see how the job sucks when I'm a customer. I hate people demeaning it like anyone can do it…so of course you get paid horribly. It's an ignorant, disgusting mindset

  13. So can we all confirm that that chimp was only interested in the thirst trap posts on instagram? That's all I noticed. Mainly because when I saw a relatively sexy thumbnail and wanted to get a closer look, he opened the one I was curious about.
    .
    .
    .
    Really eye opening to discover that I have the same thirst levels as a chimpanzee.

  14. The economy is not booming for anyone except the wealthy. The rest of us are still fucking scraping by. I'm tired of hearing how "good" the economy is. It's a euphemism for "the wealthy continue to get richer"

  15. Senior citizens can't live off Social Security. That's why McDonalds is reaching out to AARP. #NotSoGiggleGiggleGiggleSenior citizens can't live off Social Security. That's why McDonalds is reaching out to AARP. #NotSoGiggleGiggleGiggle

  16. oh goody, let's reach out to people who are supposed to be retired and enjoying life but are too goddamn poor and have to work a shity low-wage job to stay alive. What kind of f**** world are we living in?

  17. There is no shortage of workers. There is a McDonald's on just about every third corner though. How many people do you expect to want to work at McDonald's?

  18. My sister who is disabled still can't get a job at Mc.D… so I'm not sure if all locations are the same.  I would like to work during weekends…need a 2nd job desperately.

  19. Lets joke about the push McDonald's is making to hire more senior citizens while not shedding any light as to why more senior citizens are going back into the workforce. Maybe if our govt didn't focus on cutting social security, Medicare, and other social safety net programs while handing those funds over to the mega rich and corporations then maybe these people wouldn't have to work and be allowed to live the rest of their lives somewhat comfortably.

  20. I see people complaining about wages and I see people complaining about unemployment. Pick one.

  21. For technology makes us more dumb. No1 remembers phone numbers anymore. Our human brains are so smooth now. We don't try to remember anything. The more you use your brain the more wrinkles you have… wrinkles are a good thing.🧠

  22. They are going to take out life insurance policies on them. Think about it. Walmart already does this and its legal

  23. I can't think if anything sadder than ending up working at McDonald's at 70. Except perhaps being a man-child who doesn't understand how much laughter is provoked by sending pictures of his genitals to strangers. Considering how easy it is to hack those apps, they're great blackmail material too.

    Of course, if customers stopped eating at McDonald's, and regularly informed the company that they weren't going because of the abysmal wages they pay, perhaps things would change. If you do eat there, you're supporting this low wage, elderly to work idea. Any time you eat at McDonald's you're exacerbating the problem and giving no reason for the corporate model to change.

  24. Other species abilities are comparable to humans and can exceed human abilities; crows use tools, dolphins go out of their way to teach the young, trees communicate via network of roots in the soil by exchange of gases and help deliver nutrients to the young.

  25. You thought McDonald's took forever to hand you your food? well wait until you see how long it takes to order. * speak louder plz*

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