Late Show with David Letterman -Jessica Alba


BUBBLES. BUBBLES HIT THE… ( APPLAUSE ) BUT INSIDERS NOW ARE CLAIMING THAT MICHAEL JACKSON IS ZONKED ON MEDICATION, CUT OFF FROM REALITY AND HEADED FOR A COMPLETE NERVOUS MELTDOWN. NO, WAIT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING US. I WANT TO TELL YOU, TODAY IS REALLY LIKE THE FIRST ACTUAL BEAUTIFUL DAY OF SPRING.>>Paul: THIS IT IS.>>Dave: HERE IN NEW YORK CITY. I CAN ONLY HOPE WHEREVER YOU FOLKS HAPPEN TO BE WATCHING, IT’S AS BEAUTIFUL THERE AS HERE IN NEW YORK CITY.>>Paul: ME, TOO.>>Dave: THAT’S MY AATTEMPT TO BE MORE CONGENIAL, TO EMBRACE THE AUDIENCE, TO CREATE A NEXUS, IF YOU WILL, A BOND BETWEEN VIEWER AND HOST.>>Paul: A GIVE AND TAKE.>>Dave: HUH?>>Paul: A GIVE AND TAKE?>>Dave: EXACTLY. THANK YOU, PAUL.>>Paul: WHOA. I THOUGHT… A BOND BETWEEN VIEWER AND HOST>>Dave: YEAH, THANK YOU. LET ME TELL YOU WHO IS ON THE PROGRAM TONIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. A LOVELY WOMAN STARRING IN A BRAND-NEW MOTION PICTURE. THANK GOD FOR BRAND-NEW MOTION PICTURES. ( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW, BECAUSE… ( APPLAUSE ) IF THERE WERE NO BRAND-NEW MOTION PICTURES, WE’D NOT HAVE A SHOW.>>Paul: WE’D BE OUT OF BUSINESS.>>Dave: WE WOULD NOT HAVE BEAUTIFUL YOUNG ACTRESSES ON THE PROGRAM IF IT WEREN’T FOR BRAND-NEW MOTION PICTURESES. IT’S DIFFICULT TO GET ABOUTIOUS AND ACTRESSES TO PROMOTE OLD MOVIES. IF THE MOVIES ARE OLD ENOUGH, MANY OF THOSE FOLKS ARE DEAD, SO THEY’RE NOT COMING OUT. ANYWAY, THE WOMAN’S NAME IS JESSICA ALBA. THE MOVIE IS “SIN CITY.”>>Paul: OH, NO. OH, MY GOODNESS. LOOK AT HER. WHOA.>>Dave: LOOK AT THAT. ( APPLAUSE )>>Paul: WAKE UP TO JESSICA ALBAT.>>Dave: AND SHE’S IN THIS MONTH’S ISSUE OF “GENTLEMAN’S QUARTERLY.” A VERY TASTEFUL, PROVOCATIVE SPREAD. AS A PARENT, YOU THINK ABOUT THIS, THANK GOD I HAVE A SON, BUT IF HE DOES POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE, THAT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT PROBLEM.>>Paul: A SON.>>Dave: IF YOU’RE A FATHER AND YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING?>>Paul: I DO.>>Dave: IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL HERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. I CAN ONLY HOPE WHEREVER YOU’RE WATCHING… ( LAUGHTER ) LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION: ARE THE CROW CUSSES UP?>>Paul: MINE. IS BUT I WAS… ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) … JUST THINKING THAT…>>Dave: FOR THE LOVE OF…>>Paul: I KNOW, I KNOW. DON’T SHOW THAT AGAIN. IS BRIAN GREENE. THIS IS THE BOOK. IT’S CALLED “THE FABRIC OF THE COSMOS.”>>Paul: OKAY, OKAY. ( APPLAUSE )>>Dave: AND HE’S ALSO THE AUTHOR OF “THE ELEGANT UNIVERSE.” THIS TELLS YOU ABOUT SPACE, TIME AND THE TEXTURE OF REALITY. HOW IS YOUR CROW CUSS NOW?PSYCH.>>Paul: SURE.>>Dave: YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING. IF YOU HAVE A LOVELY YOUNG DAUGHTER AND YOU GET THE CALL, GUESS WHAT, DAD, I’M MAKED IN A MAGAZINE. THAT’S ONE THING.>>Paul: DON’T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF IT.>>Dave: I DON’T EITHER. WELL, WE’RE GOING TO GO AWAY FOR A CUMMINS FOR SOME COMMERCIALS. WHY DON’T YOU GO OUT TO THE YARD TO CHECK ( APPLAUSE ) YOU GET THE CALL, DAD? YES, SON? I’M GOING TO BE MAKED OUR FIRST GUEST STARS IN A NEW MOTION PICTURE ENTITLED “SIN CITY.” WHAT A TITLE FOR A FILM. DRESSEE YOU’RE GOING SOMEWHERE LATER?>>I DRESSED THIS WAY FOR YOU.>>Dave: MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED. WE WERE SHOWING YOUR PICTURE ON “GENTLEMAN’S QUARTERLY” AND I WAS MAKING JOKES ABOUT IT. WAS IT A PROBLEM TELLING YOUR FOLKS YOU… YOU’RE IN THE REALLY NAKED BUT GOOD ENOUGH REALLY.>>WHEN YOU’RE IN THE MOMENT, YOU DON’T REALLY THINK ABOUT THE RESULTS.>>Dave: REALLY?>>WELL, NO.>>Dave: GOOD. ( LAUGHTER ) JUST THE KIND OF GIRL I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.>>SO I CALLED MY FATHER AND SAID, DAD, YOU KNOW, I SORT OF DID THIS NAKED KIND OF PHOTO SHOOT THING, BUT, YOU KNOW, HEAR ME OUT. IT’S NOT BAD. IT’S VERY TASTEFUL. IT’S VERY “GQ.” I’M NOT SHOWING ANYTHING REALLY. HE HE WAS LIKE, WHAT? REALLY? I WAS LIKE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK AT IT. MAYBE NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS SHOULD LOOK AT IT EITHER.>>Dave: YOU’RE MAKING IT WORSE THAN IT IS>>NO, NO. HE SAW IT AND SAID, IT’S A LOT WORSE THAN I THOUGHT. THEN HE WAS LIKE, WHY WOULD YOU DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT BECAUSE NOW EVERYONE’S GOING THE SEE YOU LIKE THAT, AND I WAS LIKE, I’M SORRY, DAD.>>Dave: HONESTLY, IN WHAT WAY IS THAT DISRESPECTING DAD REALLY?>>I DON’T KNOW. HE’S…>>Dave: DOES HE FEEL BETTER ABOUT IT NOW?>>NO. HE DOESN’T LIKE IT.>>Dave: MAYBE I BETTER TAKE ANOTHER LOOK. ( LAUGHTER ) SEE WHAT DAD’S TALKING ABOUT HERE. ( APPLAUSE ) YOU KNOW, I… NO. 24 IS NOTHING FOR DAD TO GET UPSET ABOUT. I THINK THIS IS JUST, FOR MY MONEY, THIS IS JUST FINE, AS LONG AS IT’S NOT MY SON.>>I’M EMBARRASSED. I’M NAKED.>>Dave: NO, YOU’RE NOT, YOU HAVE SOME ARTICLES OF CLOTHING ON. I’M COVERING MYSELF>>Dave: IN THAT SENSE, SURE YOU’RE NAKED.>>IT’S NOT NOOSE>>THE IT’S LIKE, OOPS.>>Dave: EVERYBODY IN THIS AUDIENCE IN THE LAST TEN TO 12 HOURS HAS BEEN NAKED. SO DON’T… ( LAUGHTER )>>IT’S OUT-OF-TOWNER’S FANTASY. COULD I SPEAK TO THE CONCIERGE, PLEASE. YOU GOT GOOD AT THE DANCING, I’M SURE OF THAT. WHAT ABOUT THE LASSOING, BECAUSE THAT’S NOT EASY.>>I WALKED AROUND WITH THE LASSO FOR SEVEN DAYS LASSOING EVERYTHING FROM TRASH CANS TO CONES TO PEOPLE.>>Dave: DID THEY USE A SPECIAL… IS IT A VERY STIFF ROPE? IT’S STIFF BUT A LITTLE BIT SOFT. ( LAUGHTER )>>Dave: ALL RIGHT. NOW… ( LAUGHTER ) NOW, I UNDERSTAND WE HAVE A LASSO HERE AND WE’RE GOING TO TRY. THIS ARE YOU UP FOR THIS?>>I’M UP FOR IT. I JUST… IF I HIT YOU, PLEASE DON’T… PLEASE FORGIVE ME.>>Dave: YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HIT ME. HERE IT IS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, PAT. I’LL TAKE IT. IS THIS THE ONE YOU’RE ACCUSTOMED TO USING. LET’S GO OVER HERE. WHAT SHOULD BY WORRIED ABOUT?>>JUST GETTING HIT IN THE EYE. ( LAUGHTER )>>Dave: THAT’S NOT GOING TO BE A PROBLEM. HOW MUCH DISTANCE ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? (BAND PLAYING) (AUDIENCE CLAPPING ALONG) ( APPLAUSE ) ALL RIGHT.>>Dave: VERY NICE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.>>THAT WAS HARMLESS.>>Dave: YEAH, THAT WAS. I DON’T KNOW. I THOUGHT MAYBE, LIKE, YOU KNOW, MORE THAN A FOOT OR SO, BUT IT WAS… ( LAUGHTER )>>I’M NOT THAT GOOD AT IT.>>Dave: YOU KIND OF JUST DRAPED IT OVER ME.>>HEY, I LASSOED YOU.>>Dave: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NOW, THE ROPE TRICK, PAUL, THE LASSOING THING…>>Paul: YES.>>Dave: WAS IT ME, OR DID IT SEEM LIKE SHE DROPPED IT OVER?>>Paul: SHE PREPARED, THE PREPARATION WAS GREAT. SHE MAY HAVE BEEN A LITTLE BIT CLOSE TO YOU.>>Dave: YES.>>Paul: I THINK AN EXOTIC DANCER, THAT WOULD BE GREAT LASSOING. ( LAUGHTER )>>Dave: YOU SEE, AGAIN… I DIDN’T REALLY LOOK AT IT FROM THAT PERSPECTIVE.>>Paul: WITH A CALF, PERHAPS NOT. YOU MAY NEED A LILT MORE DISTANCE.>>Dave: THAT’S MORE WHAT I WAS THINKING, SUBJECT. BUT I THINK… I THINK THAT WE MAY BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE BASIC INGREDIENTS THAT MAKE UP EVERYTHING, THE BASIC LAWS BY WHICH THEY INTERACT AND INFLUENCE EACH OTHER. IN THEY THAT WAY WE’D UNDERSTAND THE UNIVERSE AT THAT VERY DEEP FUNDAMENTAL. BUT CAN I PREDICT WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE FOR LUNCH TOMORROW BASED ON THOSE LAW, I DOUBT IT. IT’S HARD TO TALK ABOUT THINGS OF SUCH COMPLEXITY WITH LAWS THAT ARE SO FUNDAMENTAL.>>Dave: MACARONI AND CHEESE.>>THERE YOU GO. ( APPLAUSE )>>Dave: NOW, WHEN EINSTEIN WAS DOING HIS WORK, WAS IT THAT HE WAS SO BRILLIANT OR HE WAS ONE OF THE FEW WORKING IN THAT AREA AT THE TIME? ARE THERE MANY GUYS, LIKE ARE YOU LIKE EINSTEIN NOW? DO YOU HAVE THE QUALIFICATION HE HAD?>>NO. ( LAUGHTER )>>Dave: ARE THERE GUYS LIKE EINSTEIN NOW DOING THE SAME WORK?>>THERE IS NOBODY OUT THERE TODAY WHO COMPARES TO THE GENIUS OF EINSTEIN. IN 1905, WE’RE NOW CELEBRATING THE 100th ANNIVERSARY, EINSTEIN WROTE FOUR PAPERS THAT CHANGED OUR UNDERSTANDING OF THE UNIVERSE, FOUR PAPERS THAT ANY OF US WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO WRITTEN. SPECIAL REAL DIFFICULT, SPACE IN TIME, NOT WHAT WE THINK THEY, ARE E EQUALS MC SQUARED, WHICH WE’VE SEEN THE CONSEQUENCES OF IN OUR LIFE AND IN THE UNIVERSE AT LARGE, THE EXISTENCE OF ATOMS HE PROVED THROUGH MOTION, HE KAW.D THE MOST IMPORTANT PAPER WAS ON SOMETHING CALLED THE PHOTOELECTRIC EFFECT WHICH LAUNCHED QAWNTS UM PHYSICS. HE WON’T THE NOBLE PRIZE FOR THAT, NOT REAL DIFFICULT.

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2 thoughts on “Late Show with David Letterman -Jessica Alba

  1. She is only on screen from 3:50 to 8:22…. skip ahead, then cut off. For some reason there's an edit, and you don't see her walk onstage… disappointing. She looks incredible though- sexy little black dress, killer heels, and even seems to be wearing really sheer nylons!

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