Caregiver Training: Refusal to Bathe | UCLA Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care


my mother used to shower every day now if I don’t remind her she refuses to bathe at all if I try to help her and courage her to take a bath she argues with me and gets upset so she’s afraid of the water what can I do mom it’s 8 a.m. time for your shower oh I don’t need it I don’t want one mom come on please we’ve gone over this over and over watch come on it’s been a week since your last one you need one please get undressed a person with dementia will often refuse withdraw or fight during a bath or shower when you’re helping someone to bathe it’s important to be sensitive and tactful and to respect their dignity remember washing is a personal and private activity bathing can be scary for patients as dementia progresses okay mom it’s noon it’s time for your spa treatment oh I don’t really want to go but you love the spa makes you feel like a queen yeah and after that we’ll go to your favorite restaurant for lunch well okay I guess all right good let’s go so first let’s start by unbuttoning your shirt I’m gonna do the top button and then can you help okay okay good job mom okay mom I put a little water on your toes I’ll test it see if it’s okay what’s up feel mmm it’s warm good now let’s wash down there can you do that by yourself you know sweet okay we’re almost finished I’m going to turn the water pressure on low and fill up this cup some water I’m going to stand up you just sit right here okay just lean your head back I’ll pour a little bit of water on you we’re going to gently massage your hair with your favorite gardenia scented shampoo how does that feel mm-hmm reassure your loved one that even though bathing is a very personal activity you’re happy to help ask how she feels and how she would prefer to do things here are some additional tips on how to help your loved one bathes be flexible on the time if your loved one doesn’t like to bathe in the morning try a different time of day if the word shower or bath causes anxiety use a different term like spa or get clean make the bathroom inviting by using flameless candles aromatherapy or soothing music it’s important that your loved one feels safe install handrails and use a shower chair limit bathing to twice a week and give sponge baths in between let her know what you’re about to do one step at a time and have her help as much as possible use a towel to drape over her to provide more privacy if you don’t have one available consider installing a handheld showerhead being able to aim the water can be helpful and less stressful

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100 thoughts on “Caregiver Training: Refusal to Bathe | UCLA Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care

  1. my grandmother fights with the nurses at the nursing home she tells the nurses to get the hell outta the room well just for everything theres no physical contact but a lot of verbal outburst she just refuses to take baths, get dressed, insulin shots & blood sugar for diabetes before meals its just sad for me to see when I visit there. but all do get accomplished at some time of the day

  2. I got to the point where both my parents were chronically ill, and like this at the same time. In fact, both were bedridden and required diapers and the use of a wheelchair to move between the bed and the bathroom. I would say the older lady in this video is easy to handle compared to either of them because she can still walk and do some things herself. I was raised an only child and had no other family in the area on either side to help. I had a full time job and was going to night school. I just didn't have the time or the expertise to help them both do things like this. Hiring caregivers to come in and out every day got stressful enough. Trying to do all of this by myself would inevitably have been a losing battle, yet I felt like this was exactly what was expected of me regardless. It was a worst case scenario, and all I could do was face facts and have others, with the training, do this for me because I knew it was what was best for my parents.

  3. My dad hasn't been diagnosed with anything yet, but he's a retired doctor that WON'T shower or wash his hands after changing his Depends.

  4. I would turn the water on for my mother,help her in and out of the tub,and stay in the bathroom while she was showering.It kept her safe and respected her privacy which was ost important to her.I then let her dress herself helping her with hard parts giving her independence.was it easy..?No but it was worth it because I loved her

  5. This is such bullshit!!!! LMAO! I’m an RN and I’ve worked in skilled nursing facilities for over a decade. Residents do not respond to this bullshit!! MAJORITY of the time we have to give Ativan just so the cna can work with these people. This video is total and complete bullshit. lol.

  6. I feel for you I had same problem with my aunt toy she passed away last year in June she was a great great aunt she had the same thing I took care of her for few years

  7. ALZEHEIMERS DISEASE IS A RARE DISEASE IN WHICH ONE STARTS FORGETTING ABOUT THINGS. HIS OR HER MEMORY POWER DECREASES DAY BY DAY. ONE SHOULD HAVE PROPER KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE DISEASE THAT WHY IT HAPPEN AND HOW TO GET IT TREATED. MAINLY THE OLD AGE PEOPLE SUFFER WITH IT.

  8. not for nothing, but this is all common sense! except bathing twice a week! wtf? my mom has dementia and I have her bathed with help twice a day!

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  11. Great video. It can be difficult. My loved ones were verbally abusive. I would gently and politely say when they tried to pick a fight. “ I respectfully disagree “. Parenting a parent or family member can be the most difficult.

  12. I have lupus and my husband epilepsy I have to take care of the two of them sometimes my husband has 5 seizures per night. Then I get up to deal with my grandma. I will never let my son go true what I'm going true I want to die with dignity.

  13. I cannot wait get back to my job. Being 4 years a Personal care aide .. I certainly miss them. Hopefully arm heals soon

  14. Nice video but I wanted to see a video of real reactions to help me. This lady definitely did not have dementia or Alzheimer’s. Also when the lady said she will take her to her favorite place I was shocked she said ok because my grandmother would have looked at me crazy like what’s my favorite place? I’ve learned the longer I talk to my grandmother the more she does not understand so I have to keep it short.

  15. Heritage medical centers are the first ever exclusive old age homes for the elders they are the best old age homes in Secunderabad which provide constant support and care service to the elderly 24/7.

  16. thank God she gets help to wash!
    i am only 40 with arthritis i cannot wash or dress and haven't been to do it now for 18 months……..there is no help no one cares.
    so be thankful those of you get help.

  17. Now you have Heritage medical Center to handle and take care of you. we have a team of health professionals who continuously take care of you all and also provide information on health tips what to eat and activities to be performed. Know more : http://www.heritagemedicalcentre.in/senior-care-services/

  18. Grab her old ass by the neck and throw her ass in the tub. She needs to know your not fucking around!!!😂🤣. Just kidding, I couldn't help by making light of this video lmao!!!!

  19. Been in the Caregiving position for 6 months in assisted living and I still struggle with giving this 1 resident a shower. I tried finding ways to motivate her to take a shower because she hasn’t had one since Christmas and she refuses each time. It took 5 staff members to get her to take a shower and it was extremely ugly. She would say she already took a shower and that if she will just spray herself with something to cover the horrid smell. She would brush off the fact that she needs a shower each time. But I don’t blame her because her dementia is worsening. Hopefully this would help make it easier.

  20. variety of recreational and sports facilities offered at Heritage Medical centre keep them engaged, refreshed and also helps to build confidence among the elders.Know more :http://www.heritagemedicalcentre.in/services/

  21. Alas, if only it were that easy! In most cases, the main underlying contributor to bathing refusal is lack of insight. That's why, when bathing is suggested, common responses include, "I've already done it!", "I don't need your help" or "Oh, go bathe yourself!". To help compensate for this lack of insight, start from a position of feigned belief in the person's capability. "I know you don't need my help. You can look after yourself just fine. But… that bathtub has been pretty slippery lately. Can I just stick around, just in case?" Stick in a little fib about why the bath should happen now to address the "already did it" mentality.

  22. I am a RN and created a Facebook group for caregivers. Please feel free to join to get support, latest updates on new research and weekly live videos. WeAreCaregiversbit.ly/

  23. The people who have dementia are all lovely but it is a very stressful and heartbreaking experience to look after them but just imagine if you had developed this awful disease how much anxiety and upset that you are confused by something or someone and are terrified off all the strangers caring for them.it would help if you can work on what they did during their childhood and young adult life these will trigger feelings that they still remember and that will make them less anxious.dementia eats away the new brain cells first and their early memories last.i hope I have helped a little you are all doing great and I bet they will know that too god bless xxx

  24. Patient Calming voice Compassionate efforts like they way was her moms decision and acknowledge refusal

  25. Please allow me to ask a basic question: Can you tell me how in the world does this take place at a convalescent home? They do not have the time to do what you're asking. So that leaves me to believe that there are a lot of elderly patients either being left unbathed or the workers are just hosing them down as they sit naked in a chair.

    This is video is not realistic. When my mother was alive, she had dementia and you couldn't even mention that you were going to put water on her head, let alone her whole body. I have one sister that she would allow to do it for her, but even then it was very difficult.

  26. I'm having a hell of a time with my patient. He messes in his pants and then won't bathe after, saying that he wants to bathe before bed or that he needs a nap first. Getting him to rinse off after he messes is a day long affair, and I'm only supposed to be in for a few hours. Any advice on how to get him to clean up? He wears depends sometimes, but I can't get him to wear them all the time.

  27. There's a certain amount of love you should have to have that patience!If your mother wasn't nice to you in the past you don't stand any chance to help well while your mother has that disease!

  28. These videos are great..but…here comes the but..I’m dealing with last stage dementia..it’s devastating to watch a dementia patient act as if you’re raping them …trauma…..these people are still at home.go to a nursing home see late stage dementia patient….try taking a pull-up off of them and give …them a bath approach them in their personal space…it very Traumatic these videos are great but these aren’t the type of people that I see every day in nursing homes and take care of that has severely late stage dementia…it’s a overwhelming job to do …day in and day out.. to try to maintain these people and give them dignity and good care …there are so many nurses CNA’s general help that gets burned out very fast watching and working among dementia patients…watching a person deteriorate from dementia is a horrific disease and I don’t think many healthy people have any idea how devastating this disease is when progressing I wish everybody had some sort of class on it everyone needs to be aware of this disease because it’s the number one killer for adults

  29. I think to have someone have to watch you, help you get undressed, or even actually participate in cleaning you is probably an extremely uncomfortable or perhaps horrifying experience for a person. I think I'd want to shower less if I needed assistance. Embarrassing. Intrusive. Maybe makes a person feel violated.Humiliating. I don't know how you would address this or how you do but even some people who are considered mentally well and bathe themselves don't like to bathe every day.
    This video makes me sad.

  30. This is why it is important to love your children when they are young, make physical contact with them, kissing and hugging all the time, so that if a child needs to bath a parent it will be easier

  31. Its more difficult if a daughter is the one giving care to a father whose suffering dementia and so sad that Im undergoing that hard times right now.

  32. She scandalous! She how she sold her with that lunch, tho? Knowing she was gonna forget. Smh!

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  34. you can buy Kevlar & neoprene sleeves that cover your arms up to the shoulder. 4$/each they last for weeks and come in all the same colors as your scrubs
    no more bites or clawing
    they don't teach you about that in your fancy schools

  35. I took care of my granny untill she passed away she was so difficult I used to cry but just because she was an elder I had so much respect for her but my wish is to travel abroad and take care of aged people

  36. I work as a food server with assisted living and I want to have a career working with elderly people as a speech pathologist! When taking orders, some residents who struggle with dementia seem to be very overwhelmed. I use the tactic at 1:53 to encourage them and i always try to meet them halfway, if really does work!

  37. Don't forget my top tip if she has dementia push her down the stairs she won't remember who did it she'll remember whose fault it is

  38. Must read!

    I am writing this testimony with the joy of the lord in my heart I was depressed and heart broken before I came in contact with prophet TB Joshua, I was diagnosed with Idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis and the doc said I was will die in less than a year, a friend told me about this man of God and how his prayers over the email has heal and cured so many of deadly disease I was mavel hearing this, she gave me his email address, [email protected], it is been a year and 6months now no sign of IPF, I decide to share the message so that people will benefit from this Amazing instrument of God, write him today and have faith you will be healed from your diseases.

  39. It takes 6 cna's to wash some combative residents. It's just not worth the stress on the resident. Let them be dirty

  40. I work as a caregiver/cna in a nursing facility, haven't seen this work yet 😢 it's just not realistic….

  41. 0:42 Mom it’s time for your shower.
    I DON’T WANT IT!!! NOW FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

    Two minutes later she’s getting the royal spa treatment in her own shower. And that trip to her favorite restaurant? Fat chance it actually happened.

  42. good day,im willing to apply i have 3yrs experience about housekeeping.how can apply this position?thank you

  43. Great video.. i hiked to raise funds and awareness about Alzheimer’s.. here is a trailer of that V-Log… it was done purely to help those suffering from this …

    https://youtu.be/v6ZPG4iZD1U

  44. i work with people with dementia and i think these tips are terrible or only works with people that hasn't gone far in their dementia. i act like a boss that tells them what to do in a way that they cant respond yes or no. like " come with with me to the bathroom" " now we are going to take your clothes off because you need to shower" "get in the shower and sit down" "is the water warm enough?". doing it that way keeps them calm because they have to do something in the moment and they don't have to think too much.

  45. Hi, a very short Video about our Mp3s for those with dementia, please share and / or copy and paste

    https://youtu.be/VXVgF3X3UVc

    Norrms xx

  46. Why don't they even mention the option of going the WILDLIFE route? Using sedatives to calm or completely knock out the patients, and 2 or more caregivers can easily carry out any procedure they want.

  47. Thank you for this video. I am aideing a family whos grandma has this. She faught the shower so hard. Was wanting to slap & punch. I will try this with her. She is farther along with the disease. So any other tips will be great.

  48. Dementia is annoying as fuck. My grandfather has it and its like dealing the a 2yr old….. im sorry to sound cruel but….

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