Boris Johnson’s Tech-Paranoid U.N. Speech | The Daily Show


Boris Johnson: British prime minister and ghost
whose just seen a ghost. He took time
from the chaos of Brexit to come and warn
the United Nations of an even bigger threat that
will effect the entire world: the robot apocalypse. You may keep your secrets
from your friends, from your parents,
your children, your doctor, even your personal trainer. But it takes real effort to conceal your thoughts
from Google. Your mattress will monitor
your nightmares. Your fridge will beep
for more cheese. A future Alexa will pretend
to take orders, but this Alexa will be watching
you, clucking her tongue, or will it bring terrifying limbless chickens to our table? (laughter) I think the Brexit pressure
is getting to Boris. Because what was
he even talking about? (mimics Johnson):
“Your wireless humidifier “will know your blood type. “Our Roombas will make
passionate love to our wives, “and robot barbers
will give my– everyone your haircut.” (normal voice):
Like, I’m not gonna lie, this was a weird speech
for Boris to give at the U.N. Although he was right at home giving the same speech
on the subway at 4:00 a.m. He fit right in. Yeah, he was just like,
(mimics Johnson): “The robots will steal our eyes. “And now, ladies and gentlemen,
I’m selling candy. “Please note it’s not
for my team, it’s for Brexit. I’m trying to pay for Brexit.” (normal voice): You know who
I bet was loving Boris’ speech when this was happening,
is all the countries that Britain has colonized
in the past. Yeah, ’cause it’s the
United Nations, so I bet, like, half of African countries
were sitting there like, “Oh, now you say it’s bad “if someone takes over
and kills you, eh? “Tell me more, tell me more. “Keep going, keep going, Boris. “Keep going. “Yeah, tell me more. Uh-huh.” It’s also funny how humans
always give speeches about robots destroying us as if humans aren’t already
destroying us. Like, we’re already
doing everything that people say that robots
are gonna do, right? Think about it.
We’re burning forests, we’re killing each other, we’re
poisoning our own air and water, but then we’re like,
“But when the robots come, things are gonna get bad.” So anyway, Boris is paranoid. Robots aren’t taking over,
so let’s move on. To this exciting new story
from the world of technology. TV REPORTER: Boston Dynamics
just released its latest robot. That bad boy
is doing gymnastics. It’s named Atlas, showing off
his gymnastic skills. It stands nearly
five feet tall, does a complete series of
somersaults, jumps, twists, and a handstand
before sticking the landing. Oh, okay.
Uh, maybe Boris was right. Uh… That was, uh,
that was interesting. (mimics Johnson): “Agile robots
will do front flips and steal our gold medals
at the Olympics.” (normal voice): Although,
it would be weird if they let robots into
the Olympics, wouldn’t it? Like, because what are you
gonna award them with? It can’t be medals. You’ll give them a bronze
and they’ll be like, (robotic voice): “This medal
used to be my father.”

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3 thoughts on “Boris Johnson’s Tech-Paranoid U.N. Speech | The Daily Show

  1. God has given the globe to live thereon. But we divided it into different countries. Let the entire globe be one nation, one village. People can move freely from North to south, East to west. No more armies, no more wars.
    Thank God, there is no division of sun, moon, n stars etc.
    Let peace prevail.

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